Complete with commentary that will guarantee you’re written out of the will.

There are bad ideas… and then there’s being the DJ at a funeral and choosing violence. If you’ve ever wondered which songs would turn a solemn ceremony into a full-blown sitcom episode, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of songs you should absolutely NEVER play at a funeral—unless your goal is to cause emotional whiplash and family-wide debate for the next 20 years.

Here are 25 tracks that would be both catastrophically inappropriate and undeniably hilarious (in a “you’re going straight to hell for laughing” kind of way).

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🎶 1. “Another One Bites the Dust” – Queen

The undisputed heavyweight champion of bad funeral timing.

🎶 2. “Stayin’ Alive” – Bee Gees

A taunting disco classic. Guests will gasp-laugh.

🎶 3. “Highway to Hell” – AC/DC

Immediate family argument: guaranteed.

🎶 4. “Man in the Box” – Alice in Chains

So on-the-nose it becomes a war crime.

🎶 5. “Bodies (Let the Bodies Hit the Floor)” – Drowning Pool

This one is a straight-up felony at a funeral.

🎶 6. “Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead” – The Wizard of Oz

Play this only if the deceased had a sense of humor… or didn’t.

🎶 7. “I’m Still Standing” – Elton John

Spoiler alert: they are not.

🎶 8. “Hit the Road Jack” – Ray Charles

Bold choice. Reckless, even.

🎶 9. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” – Guns N’ Roses

Everyone will look around like: “Did they really…?”

🎶 10. “Don’t Fear the Reaper” – Blue Öyster Cult

Cowbell solo optional—but deeply disrespectful.

🎶 11. “The Final Countdown” – Europe

Counting down… to WHAT? Don’t do it.

🎶 12. “Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down)” – Chumbawamba

Not… anymore… they don’t.

🎶 13. “I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor

This one hurts… in a hilariously terrible way.

🎶 14. “Celebration” – Kool & The Gang

What are we celebrating??? Exactly.

🎶 15. “Happy” – Pharrell Williams

Funeral guests will revolt.

🎶 16. “If You’re Happy and You Know It” – Children’s Song

Clapping not recommended.

🎶 17. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” – The Rolling Stones

Dark. Too dark. Perfect for this list.

🎶 18. “Who Let the Dogs Out” – Baha Men

There is no situation where this is appropriate.

🎶 19. “Going Underground” – The Jam

Sir… please.

🎶 20. “Another One Rides the Bus” – Weird Al

Al may be innocent. You are not.

🎶 21. “Stay” – Rihanna

They didn’t. 😬

🎶 22. “Take Me Home, Country Roads” – John Denver

The lyrics hit differently… and poorly.

🎶 23. “Spirit in the Sky” – Norman Greenbaum

A little TOO on-theme.

🎶 24. “I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred

An unhinged power move.

🎶 25. “Shake It Off” – Taylor Swift

No one is shaking anything off today, Taylor.

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⚰️ Final Thought:

If you play any of these at a funeral, one thing is certain:
You will not be invited to the next family gathering.
Or if you are… they’re watching you closely.